Tuesday, October 12, 2010

[Fae Northwest] Stalin in the Woods

A few years after the fall of the Soviet Union, a number of statues of Lenin, Stalin and Mother Russia were moved from Russia to all around the world, bought and paid for by rich industrialists, collectors of Soviet memorabilia, and other, less savory, personages.

One statue of Stalin found it's way into a woodland park in Seattle. Who placed it there remains unknown to this day nor is there any indication where in the Russia it actually came from (it doesn't match any known statue). The Seattle Parks Department, after investigating, formally stated the piece was donated by an anonymous benefactor and that it would not be removed (despite the fact that the paperwork is a jumble or non-existent or contradictory in nature) because it presents "a cultural asset to the community." Full stop, no further investigation or questions would be answered on the matter. Good day and thank you very much.

Over the ten years or so the statue has been in the woods, it's moved at least 25 times, never returning to the same place twice. Each time, it's concrete base has moved with it, securing it soundly to the new location. No evidence of the moves has ever been found: workers paid, witnesses to the act, or even paperwork filed at City Hall.

On some nights, it is rumored, the statue will answer your questions of the future, the present and the past. The price of such knowledge is unknown but my sources have assured me it isn't cheap. And sometimes, the statue does more than talk.


  1. Hmmmmmmmmmm. How I could use this is frightening. Is thievery acceptable here?

  2. The several attempts to steal the statue have all ended in failure. The bodies of the thieves found the next morning were frightening to behold - looks of terror without a mark has led the local coroner to list cause of death as "undetermined."

    The sole survivor of the most recent attempt is now permanently incarcerated at the high security facility of the Washington Center for the Criminally Insane. He refuses to talk about what happened that night, except to state "I refuse to answer because He told me not to. He still tells me not to."

    For your own safety, I would choose less-hazardous targets.

  3. How about "borrowing" for incorporation into fictional universes?

  4. "I refuse to answer because He told me not to. He still tells me not to."


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